| |
| |
|
Your Recipe Center |
Whoever writes all those fancy cookbooks has never been a parent. To begin with, the pages are never spill-proof, almost guaranteeing that somewhere in the middle of mixing ingredients, a spill will cover the remaining two ingredients listed. This means that parents must learn to improvise.
Some would suggest that the very thrill of cooking is experimentation. So what's the big difference between oregano and cayenne pepper, anyway?
Then there are all those "quick" recipes to "serve your family" gracing the pages of women's magazines. NO recipe is quick with Little Helper's assistance.
For the benefit of parents everywhere, I have taken my favorite cheesecake recipe and translated it into parentease. The non-parent version is available in Cooking By The Book -- a free bonus I offer with every purchase of The Get Happy Workbook at http://thehappyguy.com/happiness-workbook.html .
Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake (Parent Version)
Mix one cup of ginger snap cookie crumbs and one tablespoon of olive oil. Add more cookie crumbs to make up for the ones that disappeared about the same time your Little Helper walked into the kitchen.
Press the crumby oil mixture ... "Sorry, Little Helper distracted me." Press the oily crumb mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch spring-form pan, and up around the edges about one inch. Put it in the refrigerator to cool - best to slip it in safely behind the broccoli and that thing that's been turning blue for three weeks in case Little Helper gets inspired
Soften three bricks of cream cheese, ideally in the microwave. If you can't separate the cheese from Little Helper's hands, let her keep doing what she's doing until the cheese is good and soft. Cream the cheese with one and a half cups of pureed pumpkin, three large eggs, two tablespoons of cream, and one cup of brown sugar. Keep mixing until creamy.
Add one teaspoon of vanilla extract. If you are fortunate enough to have help at this stage, you have three options:
You will also need to add a tablespoon of cinnamon. If Little Helper is in a generous mood, don't worry. You still have three options:
There is also a tablespoon of ground ginger to add. Sorry about that. Don't worry, you still have three options...again:
I almost hate to mention this, but you'll need to add a teaspoon of ground nutmeg. And a half teaspoon of salt. And a half teaspoon of allspice. Go ahead and bang your head some more if it makes you feel better.
Fortunately, there is a parental failsafe. It is sort of like a "get out of jail free card". Look in the bowl. Observe the quantity of creamy things. Observe the quantity of spicy things.
If the quantity of creamy things is even slightly greater than the quantity of spicy things, keep going and pretend you didn't have any help. Maybe nobody will notice. If the quantity of spicy things is greater than the quantity of creamy things, open another can of pureed pumpkin. Keep adding cans of pureed pumpkin until creamy things are greater than spicy things -- or until your grocer runs out of cans.
Pour the filling into the crust. Note, if you had to add too many cans of pureed pumpkin, this could get messy. I recommend hip-waders...especially for Little Helper.
Cook at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 50 minutes or until the top is slightly brown and almost as cracked as your head and the counter. Do NOT let Little Helper eat the cake while it is still in the oven.
Let it air cool in a safe place -- like at a neighbor's house -- then refrigerate overnight
Just before serving, top with whipped cream and sprinkle with pecans. Oops. I just wrote that last line in non-parentease. It should read: "Now that the whipped cream is polished off, shake the remaining sprinkles on the cake. Unless Little Helper ate them, too.
Now you can sit down and enjoy your Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake (Parent Version). Oh yes, don't forget to laminate this page to avoid more impromptu experimentation in the future.
About The Author
The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at http://TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html or read more columns at http://TheHappyGuy.com
Raspberry adds twist to old recipe Hattiesburg American I asked her to write her recipe. So, to new friend, Jenny Busby, here is her recipe. I can't wait to try it! In a large pot, place figs and Jell-O. Bring to ... |
PF Chang's eggplant dish worth duplicating MiamiHerald.com A: PF Chang's does not share its recipes, but since this is one of my favorites at the chain, I did my best to duplicate the flavors. ... |
Lemon Cake: So good, but a recipe for weight gain San Angelo Standard Times The recipe for you in her book might as well have been a singles ad: Lemon Cake seeking main squeeze. Must possess sense of humor and parchment paper. ... |
Recipes Using Essential Oils New York Times By THE NEW YORK TIMES Fill a small vial or jar, preferably with a twist-off cap, with a natural salt. Add 5 to 10 drops of therapeutic grade peppermint ... |
 Telegraph.co.uk | Rose Prince's recipes for August: Tomato tart with basil oil Telegraph.co.uk Thin and crisp, the buttery base of this easy-to-make tart shows off the flavour of sweet cooked tomato. By Rose Prince Bake it thoroughly and it will last ... Rose Prince's recipes for August: land of plenty Rose Prince's recipes for August: Baked eggs with roasted sweet peppers and ... |
Free Range on Food: Summer beers, drinks and recipes Washington Post Two of the grain salad recipes I have tried recently call for soaking the chopped or sliced onions in cold water, then draining. What does this step do? ... |
 Palm Beach Post | Celebrate National Ice Cream Month with new frozen treats The Star-Ledger - NJ.com Their 50 recipes for ice cream, sorbet, and other frozen treats include fresh and dried herbs and spices, such as basil, cumin and cinnamon. ... Making ice cream at home is a snap Exploring a summer love of ice cream Creamy without cranking |
Recipes: Mango Lassi and Mel's Mango Chicken Seattle Times The standard recipe here can be altered to your taste — if you are watching calories, use ice or water in place of the milk and an artificial sweetener in ... |
 Telegraph.co.uk | Rose Prince's recipes for August: Chicken in curried yogurt sauce with peach ... Telegraph.co.uk I love the Kit a Kat curry powder blend from the Spice Shop in Portobello, which is ideal for this recipe. Buy it online, or from 1 Blenheim ... |
Let's camp out! Creative recipes, games, and activities for camping with ... Kansas City Star For my family, camping is the perfect mix of the sublime and the ridiculously fun. Even little moments can be big adventures. ... Let's camp out! Creative recipes, games, and activities for camping with ... |
| home | site map |
| © 2007 |